Thursday, October 7, 2010

Mommy, why am I so Fat? It's John Howie's fault.

warning: full blown rant.  Needs editing and refining.  In a really bad mood.  

So I have a problem.  Overall, I am a red-blooded carnivore type American chef.  I scoff at spa food, whole wheat bread gives me the hibeejeebees and I actually throw up with brown rice. I opened THE SWINERY for pete's sake.  But we live in a day where there is a severe disconnect between the what is truly good for you on a real honest level and what is just feeding our most depraved needs.

I became a Chef because I believe in something.   Food is the most sacred thing we have in this country.  The direct link between the Earth, our Families, our society, and whatever your concept of God/ess is.  (Argue with me...I dare you).  We live in an era where we don't go to church, and if we do, it isn't because it provides a relevant answer for anything in our life, it is because our parents did.

Chefs are the new clergy.  There, I said it.  You know it is true.  We provide the soul sustenance without the guilt.  We bring the communities together, we provide the place.  And the best thing is that it's not about us.  It is about you.  We aren't/shouldn't be heroes, we are merely catalysts.

That being said, we have a responsibility to our communities.  I am sorry, if this isn't "a calling", then you shouldn't be doing it.  Denny's always needs another fry-guy.  We are supposed to feed the people... correctly.  We are supposed to give them what they want, but in a manner that feeds the whole person, the whole society, and the whole earth.

I started cooking when I was 17 because of two people: Greg Higgins and Rick Bayless.  Greg was my teacher, and Rick wrote something that means something to me: "My Soapbox: Reflections on Celebration in a Land of Plenty" (pg 285 Mexican Kitchen). excerpt:

"We're forgetting both what our bodies feel like when we eat old-fashioned small portions of fresh-by-necessity, everyday cooking, as well as what satisfaction there is in spending the whole day in the kitchen making huge quantities of inimitable, rich, dishes for the most special times" 

How have we gotten so off track?  Never before in the HISTORY OF MAN have we been so fat and unhealthy.  Food manufactures and global distribution of our food have conspired to destroy us.  Anyone who is remotely paying attention have noticed that a great portion of our societal ills stem from food in one way or another.  (Which makes sense as it is the most important thing we have in our culture). Most of us Chef-type-folk get it; we understand that WE ARE THE GOOD GUYS, it is our job to serve real food that make people pause and remember what it is to not just be a consumer.

Clearly not everyone agrees though.  Take a local "celebrity" chef: http://bit.ly/b4EhYm .  Really?  This is the single most disgusting thing I have seen outside of a 7-11 or a KFC.  But wait: the best part is there is already a chain named "The Heartattack Grill"!

I know it is completely anti-Seattle to directly express a negative opinion about food or chefs. I am aware that I am going to get unfriended on FB for this.  But really?  John Howie, you are a hack.  I would wish you a good career making up new culinary abortions for Taco Bell, but you would probably get a hell of a lot of people sicker.  Please leave the feeding people to the Chefs who actually care about the people.

Ok, I am going to go walk in my garden.  Pick some grapes.  breathe a little.

8 comments:

  1. I agree with the role of chefs that you describe; nurturers of body and soul. Along with that comes a responsibility though and I feel that crap like the latest burger monstrosity is in violation of that.

    I suspect that the reason xTreme(!)-food is so popular right now is in backlash to years of the wrongful vilification of food. People are very happy to consume terrible things as long as they're made by 'real' chefs out of 'good' ingredients and so can fit into the exciting new realm of the food revival. I know plenty of foodies who would turn their nose up at a Big Mac as awful and awful for you but happily tuck into a sandwich of chicken-fried-bacon between two grilled cheese sandwiches because the bacon is locally made, the cheese is house made, and it made by a guy in a truck.

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  2. Ah, I see- this is the rant of which you spoke! And of course it ties in perfectly with the inaudible running commentary going on in many of our minds- nice to see you're giving it voice.

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  3. Boy, That sure looks like a sandwich that was featured prominently on The Great Food Truck Race on Food Network this summer. This was a top seller for the Grill Em All truck http://grillemalltruck.com/menu/ it already has a name the Behemoth. Ok so they are going to make it with a branded bacon and branded cheese, why so that you can charge more for it? Bottom line it is still the same damn thing. Great post Gabe. You are correct it is up to the chefs of America to get us all back to eating real food. not the over processed crap that America has fallen into out of shear convenience. I made a personal choice years ago to not eat at any of the chain fast food joints and I am happy with that decision myself. I feel healthier honestly because of it.

    I don't mean to hijack your post, but the same shit has been eating at me for a long time now.

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  4. Andy K,
    I totally agree with you about foodies and big macs. That is what pisses me off so much. If Claim Jumper wants to do that... well, I can't stop them. But if a local "High Brow" chef does it, it is wrong. We shouldn't do this to food.
    We should be trying to live up to a higher standard.

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  5. yeah, 'cause it's not like the swinery ever had a fatty, heart attack inducing menu item:

    The Boss Hog
    Bacon Burger | Bacon | Griddled Bacon Dog | Caramelized Red Onion | Cheddar

    http://theswinery.blogspot.com/2009/11/swinery-on-main-menu.html

    p.s. - this sandwich has been around since 2008 and it's called a fatty melt - http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/10/the-hamburger-fatty-melt-a-burger-with-two-grilled-cheese-sandwiches-as-its-bun.html

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  6. True on the Boss Hog. It was Brian's burger and I pulled it as soon as he left. It was gross. The whole staff wanted it gone. It was tasty but we all agreed that "dare" food doesn't have any place in our place.

    In a lot of ways the Boss Hog burger is what shaped this view. Seeing people eat that thing and then complain later about how sick they felt and laughing about how it was a dare was gross. I wasn't proud of it at all. So we pulled it.

    I have Josh, Johnny and John to thank as well for really putting in their two cents on what our collective opinion of things like this was.

    And certainly not to defend the Boss Hog burger, but at a total weight of 7oz, it is less than half of the Heart Attack. That isn't even counting the grilled cheeses. But still, it was "dare" food.

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  8. It is just novelty food. We laugh at it, we gawk at it, we vilify it, maybe even honor it with photos and posts. But it does get noticed, and that is the point of novelty. It is too bad that a chef of his caliber stooped to some novelty so UN-NOVEL that it has been trademarked. My bet is that he has a new publicist--who eats at ClaimJumper--that put him up to this.

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